Saturday, June 7, 2008

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Senior Citizen Version)

Are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?

Does your memory stray,
To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?

Is your hairline receding?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her,
And its prostate for him.

Does your back give you pain?
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?

All that oat bran and fruit,
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run likeA well oiled machine.

If it's football or baseball,
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for.

So your gallbladder's gone,
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you're hungry, he's not,
When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.

When you turn out the light,
He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.

He was once so romantic,
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such
A cranky old fart?

So don't take any bets,
It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.

2 comments: said...

Elvis Presley was and still is our favourite singer. U would to buy every Elvis's record available in the market, be it singles or LPs at whatever cost. Every time a new ELvis LP arrived in Sing Kong, u would be the first customer. Then the whole Bakawali Tailor shop would have to endure ur non-stop Elvis songs for about an hour! " It's Now or Never, Don't Be Cruel"," All Shook Up" Blue Suede Shoes " and all the Elvis songs maybe music to our ears but I don't know how the Hakka speaking tailors could tolerate the rock n roll music. Maybe they had cotton in their ears or were already deaf due to the constant exposure of ur music. Those were the days, my friend. The days of Elvis, Cliff, Pat Boone, The Blue Diamonds, Paul Anka and the Shadows. So when we are lonesome at night, we switch on to these golden oldies to go to our Memory Lane- Tune to Astro Radio- Gold ch. 861. That's our Time Machine to go back to the good old days when life is simple and things were cheap. the price of petrol is going up and up and prices of other goods follow suit.
How I wish to have "Yesterday Once More" once more. said...

Are U Lonesome 2nite? ( JM Tan"s version)

U know someone said that
The world's a stage
We're all players
Act 1, was when we came to this world
We read our lines so cleverly, and never missed a cue
Then came Act II, we seem to change and why we never knew
We became greedy and selfish and 4forget ourselves
We pollute the earth and dirty the planet to the point of no return
Global warming and ice caps melting we don't care
God has given us a beautiful planet-a big blue marble and yet we don't appreciate
Thru our greed, we cut down the forests and fill the earth with rubbish
Even the oceans are polluted thru oil spills and the dumping of nuclear waste
The fishes are dying and the wild life has nowhere to go
We burn fosseil fuel to ride around in big cars
Kids don't ride bicycles any more
Instead they zoom around on their motorbikes wasting precious fuels and creating nuisance to others by their noise and dangerous stunts and landing themselves in hospitals and prematurely in coffins
If we still don't change our bad habits and ways
Then God will bring the curtain down on earth
And the Big Blue Marble will not be blue anymore
It'll be a big brown ball like Mars - a desert. There's no 2nd chance! So take note every one!
Save the earth & save our future generations from disaster.